Tag: perfectionism
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Inside anxiety
Yesterday afternoon, the internet went out in the office. This happens often and always returns quickly, so I waited. After an hour or so, after I’d read the tabs I’d already opened, worked on something small that didn’t need the internet, and filed through my emails on my phone, I gave up — deciding to…
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On being less capable
Having recently made the decision to leave Timor-Leste early next year, I’ve found myself prematurely reflective and nostalgic about the time I’ve had here, and what I’ve taken from it. Something I’m beginning to understand, which I mentioned in this post, is that Timor-Leste is teaching me to expect less of myself. To shed the…
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You got light in your eyes
On my Facebook this morning a memory popped up of a blog post I’d shared two years ago, when I was living in Melbourne. That year, I lived on Rae Street in Fitzroy North, and kept a blog titled Sophie Rae Street, where I wrote about settling into a new city, not dissimilar in title…
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To be a beginner
It’s the end of Sunday as I sit here typing, thinking idly back on a beautiful sunny weekend day. Full of gentle new things. This morning, I woke up early to mash my goopy sourdough into its final shape and bake it, the last step in a seven-day-long procedure. I wasn’t sure it’d work out:…
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I don’t know what happens next
Every morning, my alarm goes off at 7am. Every morning, I snooze it four times. Every morning, I crawl out of bed at 7:45am, hating my morning sloth self. Every week, I tell myself I’ll join the free circuit class run by the Australian defence force. Some days,I even go as far as throwing my…
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White girls get anxiety,
If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that Felix and I made a spontaneous decision over breakfast late on Friday to drive down to a town called Same, pronounced sah-may, for the Eid long weekend. You may also have seen a suite of smug holiday photos as we lazed by the pool,…
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Pancakes, panic, and perfectionism
Last week, Felix and I invited friends over for dinner. We cooked thin Korean egg pancakes and stuffed them with vegetables, tofu, avocado; we sat on cushions around the lounge table and laughed and told stories over cups of silky soju; we realised at eleven o’clock it was a weeknight and we should all probably sleep…
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Perfectionism, planning and Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie
Followers of my Instagram account may have seen some reading-related content this year: in January, I committed to reading 52 books in 2018, and I’ve been documenting my progress on Instagram. One book per week; one #bookstagram per final page. https://www.instagram.com/p/BdZxSTgnK4i/?taken-by=sophieraynor Thirteen weeks into 2018 I’m six books deep. It’s not going well. Which means…
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Anxiety OJ
I’m sitting here in Kaffe Uut, the trendy Dili cafe chain with wooden-plank tables and abstract copper-sculpture light fittings and Four Pillars gin in the fridge, with my laptop open and a fresh orange juice dripping by my elbow. My hair’s scraped back off my face into what I believe is an elegant topknot, I’ve got…
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How I deal when I don’t know what comes next
Late on Friday afternoon, I received an email from a colleague in our admin team, informing everyone about a staff meeting to be held at 9:30am on Monday morning. I asked my boss if I could spend a few minutes of it speaking briefly about my work; he said yes, and I sat for several…
Sophie Rai Liur 